the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
