Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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