Small penises have feelings too.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
