Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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