All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
