see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
