I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
