How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
