you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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