This is not my ceiling
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
