all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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