when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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