We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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