dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
