I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize