I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
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