I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
