don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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