oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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