In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
