Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We're too hungover to prance.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
