Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
