awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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