...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
