Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
