k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
