My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
