okay pat passed out under dana's car
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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