my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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