i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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