Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
