my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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