He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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