everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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