you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
