I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
