Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
