Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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