You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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