all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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