I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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