I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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