But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
