I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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