Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So vagazzling was a success
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
