I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
