I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
