hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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