how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
