oh god the rape fog is back!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
