What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
