Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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