Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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